Spicy Rasam

Not a cooking or food blog! I just share what's cooking in my mind.

It’s a man’s world. Isn’t it? It’s not? Well! I am not the deciding authority. You decide!!! I’m going to talk about a few truths in this blog. I like it when my husband leads. I like it when he drives and I am in the passenger seat. I like it when he is the primary breadwinner. I even like it when he opens the rice box (it is very tight for some reason. But…. It’s a good box. And… I have my husband to open it).

doing dishes

Brava! dear Brava!!! I name you “King in the Kitchen”

Why? Because I just like it. I was never this “dependent”. I was raised by a mother who had to do most of the work by herself. She was the primary bread winner. I am gifted to have a husband who participates in my life. And to return the favor, I participate in his life.

raymond conversation

Husbands should really follow this! I am not your google man!!!

I know that there are many women out there who chose or are choosing not to have a man in their life. I should know. I have a few friends who’d made that choice. Good for them! Some of them are happy to be single and super, and some of them wish to have a better man in their life. Again! Their choice.

sheldon, love air

And if you are in Mumbai! black, freaking dust!!!

But, I am not going to talk about that here (😊 that’s a whole new blog topic). I am going to talk about the simple stuff of how much participation in another person’s life is acceptable. Is it ok to steamroll a person’s life to your wish? Just because you care for them? Men and women do this.

“I can’t access my husband’s phone!” My friend told me, “why has he suddenly changed the password”. Because its his phone! “My wife is not sleeping at 10:00 pm. I get disturbed every time she turns the light on in the bedroom”, another friend told me “Oh! Why? I asked? You could talk to her about turning the lights on”, “In the hall…. I want her to sleep early. I care about her”. Seems simple enough right?

another sexist meme

I am…. I am clever!!! muhahahahha….

But his wife is a grown adult, and it’s her husband’s phone. Our spouses are not out children. We cannot, should not, control their actions because we can. The husband probably wanted privacy. Shouldn’t she give him that. He definitely deserves it. And the wife definitely has the right to choose when she sleeps (maybe she was working around the house. Cleaning the kitchen. I am just relating  here..).

Where should you draw the line? Do you think it is good for men and women (who are in relationships) to always intervene in each other’s life?

Let me know is the comments….

15 thoughts on “Do you think it is good for men and women (who are in relationships) to 24/7 intervene in each other’s life?

  1. I liked the way you kept it short and sweet and spiced up too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. NJ says:

      Thanks Anamika!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Welcome Gayatri….

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Of course, you do not monitor your husband or wife 24/7, that would be irritating. But if the husband becomes too secretive with his phone suddenly (this applies to the wife too), while he was okay with his wife looking into his phone earlier, would not that be suspicious?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. NJ says:

      maybe! I suppose!! so participation when required is healthy!! right?


  3. parasharm says:

    A question on which we can ponder on for hours…where to draw the line…but from experience of my marital life till now, I can summarize that both partners should be given enough freedom and space to live how they want. Off course as humans, we have a nature to modify people according to our nature and moods (frankly speaking I do that sometimes!) , but that makes the relationship suffocating. We should try to control only as much that wont poison the charm and closeness of marriage.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. NJ says:

      Ponder! I did… hence the blog 🙂 wise words Parasharm!


  4. Minal Agashe says:

    It’s like defining LOC in realtionships😊. Being human we have tendency to mould or control other person as per our own thoughts and whims. This might be out of concern and might be unintentional. But we do. Defining this LOC is applicable in all relationships whether it’s husband and wife or a friend. Giving space and freedom is a key to every successful relationship. The rules to define this LOC is all dependent on the dynamics of that relationship which differ from person person.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. NJ says:

      WOMAN! that is the most technical legalized stuff… but sooo, god damn true. Totally agree!


  5. Gottfried says:

    I’m not one to get jealous. Whatever my partner does is their private business.

    To reiterate, it is indeed a mans world.🙂

    Your meme game is also strong, I’ll give you that.😂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. NJ says:

      I hope u mean ‘man’ like ‘human’. Similar to old literature…


      1. Gottfried says:

        I mean man as in man🙂


      2. NJ says:

        Hmmm… You courageous boy..

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Rama says:

    It’s essential to have space in every relationship, not necessarily that of a man n wife. Each human being is entitled to lead their own independent life. Just because we r bonded with others in so called relationships, it doesn’t mean we’ve to loose our individuality and be a puppet in others’ hands. What do u say!!?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. NJ says:

      Rightly said Chitti😊😊


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