I witnessed a very candid, wonderful and rare banter in my afternoon local train travels. It was not crowded, and I got a place to sit.
Woman 1: “…. And you just decided that you are not going to have a baby?”
Woman 2: Yes.
Woman 1: “WOW! I have never heard something so idiotic.
Woman 2: Why? We just don’t want kids. It is not something we feel we must have to be happy.
Woman 1: But, what does your family say? Are they OK with it?
Woman 2: They are.
Woman 1: They don’t want you to have kids?
Woman 2: They don’t have a say. They support me.
Woman 1: I can never do this to my family. My mom adores my daughter and keeps asking me when I am going to plan a second child.
Woman 2: ……………
Woman 1: If I say something like this, my mom will disown me.
Woman 3 (not sure if she is a bystander or their friend): Good thing her parents are not that horrible.
Woman 1: What did you say?
Woman 3: Good thing her parents are not that horrible and support her in her life.
Woman 1: Excuse me? Why are you interfering in our conversation?
Woman 3: (Rolls eyes) (Goes back to browsing phone)
Woman 1: What an arrogant person!
Guvava seller aunty: This is actually nice. People should only have kids if they want to. Imagine the reduction in people quantity (I am vaguely translating)
Aunty who is sitting: Oh.. ho.. will you say the same if it was your kids?
Guvava seller aunty: Oh yes.. My husband’s Parampara (family tree) needs to end. Vile man.
Aunty who is sitting: (laughs) Well! If you put it that way.
Woman 4: I have been trying to have kids for past 4 years. I am still not successful. My mom thinks it because of COVID vaccine. (looking at Woman 2) Your family is OK with you not having kids?
Woman 2: Yes. It is a conscious decision. My husband and I don’t want kids.
Palak aunty (she was cleaning spinach/palak, hence the name): You are married? Aai Shapath (mother promise), I thought you were single. You are married and you don’t want kids? Your mother-in-law is OK with this?
Woman 1: Exactly! My mom-in-law will eat my head.
Woman 3: WOW! So much for love for kids…
Woman 1: You have a problem with me?
Woman 2 (to the palak aunty): She is fine with it. It was difficult for her initially. She is OK now. She even boldly tells her friends that we are a DINK couple.
Guvava seller aunty: Dink? Like Dink Laddo? (guvava aunty and sitting aunty laugh. Hi-fi-ies)
Woman 3: No! (looks up form phone) It means Double Income With No Kids. D.. I.. N.. K.. DINK
Palak aunty: (grumbles) I am telling you this generation is useless. They have double income and no kids? (Looks at Guvava seller aunty) Tai! (sister) how many kids you have?
Guvava seller aunty: 7. 5 sons and 2 daughters.
Sitting aunty: She was busy in her youth. (both palak aunty and sitting aunty laugh) How many do you have? (to palak aunty)
Palak aunty: 3. 2 girls and one boy.
Woman 3: Let me guess. Third one is boy?
Palak aunty: No.. First one is Boy.
Woman 1: LOL. Some people think they are all feminist and all that. (Shows disdainful face to Woman 3)
Woman 2: Having kids and not having kids must be a decision we can make. We must have that choice.
Guvava seller aunty: I wish I was this Dink laddo like you. I would have been happy to be all dink and no kids. (looks at Woman 3) what was it?
Woman 3: Double income with No kids.
Guvava seller aunty: Oh! I would have been single income no kids. My husband is a drunkard who blows away all his money on alcohol.
Sitting aunty: Me too tai! (Both laugh)
Woman 4: I really wish my family was this supportive (looking at Woman 2). I am called childless and treated badly. I wish I can also be DINK. I honestly don’t know if a kid will make all my worries go away.
Palak Aunty: People are vile child. You think after you have a kid, they will shut up? You be dinky. Like her (points a palak at Woman 2). Who cares? We have so many people anyway.
Woman 3: smiles discreetly
Woman 1: Hmmm. Honestly, I don’t want to have another child now. I work full time and leave my kid in day care. No help from family.
Guvava seller aunty: No one will help child. I used to bring my 3 kids to sell fruits. When they grew, they took care of the little ones.
Palak aunty: Many people must be Dink kids..
Woman 3: DINK.. Not Dink kids.
Palak aunty: what she said. Well… many must be this. Only then people will understand the work moms do. We are expected to work, have sex (Woman 1, 2 and 3 are visibly uncomfortable), have kids, cook (waves a palak), keep house, be disciplined, talk nice. Screw them. (looks at Woman 2) You be Dink laddo, child.
Woman 1: I guess I’ll just tell my mom that I cannot have kids and it is the COVID vaccine’s fault.
(All women laugh)
Woman 2: You do that!!
I had to get down in my stop after this; was very tempted to keep going, but I’d be travelling ticket less.
Spicy Rasam 