Spicy Rasam

Not a cooking or food blog! I just share what's cooking in my mind.

Skin Whitening: a dangerous practice

Gayathri

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Dec 5, 2025

I have a friend of 25 years who cannot get out of the house without using “fair and lovely” or as they call it now “glow and lovely”. She’s been using it for more than 20 years now. I remember her being very insecure because she was “dark” (still can’t understand what this means). She’s a beautiful woman. Has beautiful oily skin, wonderful sweat glands in her face that take care of the moisturizing, amazing curly hair, but to her beauty is being “fair”. I’ve been trying to understand this for over a decade: The reason why most of Asia and Africa has been gaslit to believe they are not adequately “fair” or “white”.

A type of black fungi, Cladosporium sphaerospermum, is doing radiosynthesis and creating energy using nuclear radiation in Chernobyl. Now, there is still more research that is to be done to be sure, but one thing is for sure. The Melanin in the fungi is protecting it from radiation. It neutralizes the radiation. I am talking about nuclear fission reaction radiation. MELANIN! The pigment that we were made to believe is the villain. The beauty industry has products that claim to reduce or stop melanin production. There are many fairness creams and whitening creams that “help” women achieve “fairness” by removing melanin from their skin.

Let us just stop this madness.

There is good reason why people in tropical climate have good skin. I am not talking about “glass skin”, “dewy skin” “fair skin” or “smooth skin”. Skin is an organ. The job of which is to protect us from any outside factors. People in tropics have more sweat glands and melanin that help in protecting them from harsh sun and heat.

There were cases in Kerala where a to-be bride was hospitalized due to nephrotic syndrome. When asked what was she using recently and regularly, she mentioned a skin whitening cream called Faiza beauty cream. Other similar cases were tracked and found that all were using this skin-whitening cream. It was found that the cream’s mercury content was 7,590 mg/kg, which is 7,590 times higher than the limit prescribed by the Minamata Convention on Mercury.

What’s worse? These creams are still available online.

I would love to live in a world where being called “black” is a compliment, because, with evidence, it is actually a compliment. It means your skin is working amazingly well. It is producing a natural barrier that protects you from radiation (UV or Gamma). Let us normalize and celebrate having pigment in our skin, because we are slowly destroying the God-given gift that is pigmentation by using ridiculous beauty products that feast on our insecurities.

Jealousy: a very misunderstood emotion

Gayathri

2 comments

Mar 31, 2025

I attended a mental health workshop last week. We talked about a lot of things and shared our experiences. I attended the workshop to cope with my grief, but I observed that many attended the workshop to cope with jealousy or envy. There was a woman who said she had a major case of FOMO (fear of missing out) because all her friends were married. Many shared they were jealous of their peers who they believed did more well in life compared to them.

We discussed about how to look at the bright side, how to find contentment in what we have achieved and how to be grateful. These are good, no doubt, but one thought kept bothering me all through the session. Is jealousy bad? Why?

I’ve always felt jealousy was a normal and primal feeling. I’ve seen a 2-year-old get jealous. I believe small children have primal, unadulterated emotions and always strive to learn from them. Why are we trying to control this feeling? Why do we feel a need to curtail it? I did ask the question to some of my friends and got many answers.

One dominating answer was ‘fear of evil eye’. More accurately, fear of ‘giving someone an evil eye’. A friend of mine told me, “I try not to be jealous and do my best to deviate from my feeling. I do not want to give the person an evil eye”.

Thanks to my overthinking 😊 and discussions/debates/fights 😐, I’ve understood that what we need to avoid is Envy, not jealousy. Jealousy is a primal, raw feeling that helps you identify what your interest area is, what you aspire to do, and what you want to do in your life.

A person who is jealous of someone with a high salary aspires to reach there, a person who is jealous of a fit person want to be fit, and a person who is jealous of someone with a happy marriage, wants a happy marriage.

Envy, on the other hand is a destructive feeling that is related to ‘evil eye’. You want the person to suffer or take a loss. I asked the people who talked to me about evil eye and all agreed that they don’t want the person they are jealous of to suffer. They wanted to reach the milestone, not pull the person down.

I think over-socialising, show-off culture and consumerism have made us fear even our primal emotion in fear of it being destructive.

Jealousy is OK. Just process the feeling and get to the bottom of why you feel this way. Who knows! Maybe you are jealous of your role model and by processing the feeling you may turn jealousy to admiration.

My Mom

Gayathri

1 comment

Mar 17, 2025

A friend of mine once told me that grief comes in waves. I pretended to understand and nodded away. You never truly understand grief until you’ve experienced it right? My mom recently passed away because of chronic ILD. She was 72 years old.

Yesterday, before I started to make lunch, I took my phone, connected Bluetooth and almost dialled Mom. The action had become muscle memory and that’s when realisation stuck that I will never be able to call Mom. I don’t cry much, therefore I did not. I am not sure why I can’t cry out loud, but I am definitely crying inside. I hope I am making sense. I cooked, ate, ran errands, and cleaned. I tried talking to my friend, my brother and my grandmom to emulate the same feeling I get when I talk to my mom. I still feel incomplete and have no idea how to fill the gap.

A colleague of mine asked my mom’s age and said, “oh! She was old. Ok.” I get this reaction from many people. “She was suffering,” “It is ok. It was her time,” “She was old. It’s ok.” I still miss her though.

She was a power to recon with. She managed to live her life with a lot of zest. I never understood why people said “they were full of life” when they hear someone has passed away. I do now. My mom really was full of life.

The last conversation I had with her revolved around a Korean drama, the Malayalam movie Branhmayugam and Velpari novel. There was a time when I expected her to behave like an old lady; Wanted her not to be interested in anything other than religion and God. I am glad she ignored my advice. She was interested in a lot of things and had a zest to learn till her last breath.

She’s helped and uplifted so many lives in her lifespan. Many people helped us during the funeral. They talked about her in a way that felt sweetly heavy. She taught us to love and respect every life we come across. She taught me to respect the deserving person; that respect is commanded, not demanded.

She is my role model.

I just wanted to write about her. Thanks for reading.

IT support needs support

Gayathri

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Jan 16, 2025

An IT support person today asked me to share my screen, proceeded to share her screen instead, opened ChatGPT and searched for my question. Also, asked google what a browser is.

Have you ever been so overwhelmed with a lot of emotions, like hopelessness, helplessness, fear, sadness, “that was funny” feeling, wanting to cry, that your brain feels exhausted?

IT support used to be my holy grail for all the answers that are tech heavy. What happened??!!

DINK (Double Income No Kids) candid banter

Gayathri

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Jan 2, 2025

I witnessed a very candid, wonderful and rare banter in my afternoon local train travels. It was not crowded, and I got a place to sit.

Woman 1: “…. And you just decided that you are not going to have a baby?”

Woman 2: Yes.

Woman 1: “WOW! I have never heard something so idiotic.

Woman 2: Why? We just don’t want kids. It is not something we feel we must have to be happy.

Woman 1: But, what does your family say? Are they OK with it?

Woman 2: They are.

Woman 1: They don’t want you to have kids?

Woman 2: They don’t have a say. They support me.

Woman 1: I can never do this to my family. My mom adores my daughter and keeps asking me when I am going to plan a second child.

Woman 2: ……………

Woman 1: If I say something like this, my mom will disown me.

Woman 3 (not sure if she is a bystander or their friend): Good thing her parents are not that horrible.

Woman 1: What did you say?

Woman 3: Good thing her parents are not that horrible and support her in her life.

Woman 1: Excuse me? Why are you interfering in our conversation?

Woman 3: (Rolls eyes) (Goes back to browsing phone)

Woman 1: What an arrogant person!

Guvava seller aunty: This is actually nice. People should only have kids if they want to. Imagine the reduction in people quantity (I am vaguely translating)

Aunty who is sitting: Oh.. ho.. will you say the same if it was your kids?

Guvava seller aunty: Oh yes.. My husband’s Parampara (family tree) needs to end. Vile man.

Aunty who is sitting: (laughs) Well! If you put it that way.

Woman 4: I have been trying to have kids for past 4 years. I am still not successful. My mom thinks it because of COVID vaccine. (looking at Woman 2) Your family is OK with you not having kids?

Woman 2: Yes. It is a conscious decision. My husband and I don’t want kids.

Palak aunty (she was cleaning spinach/palak, hence the name): You are married? Aai Shapath (mother promise), I thought you were single. You are married and you don’t want kids? Your mother-in-law is OK with this?

Woman 1: Exactly! My mom-in-law will eat my head.

Woman 3: WOW! So much for love for kids…

Woman 1: You have a problem with me?

Woman 2 (to the palak aunty): She is fine with it. It was difficult for her initially. She is OK now. She even boldly tells her friends that we are a DINK couple.

Guvava seller aunty: Dink? Like Dink Laddo? (guvava aunty and sitting aunty laugh. Hi-fi-ies)

Dink Laddo

Woman 3: No! (looks up form phone) It means Double Income With No Kids. D.. I.. N.. K.. DINK

Palak aunty: (grumbles) I am telling you this generation is useless. They have double income and no kids? (Looks at Guvava seller aunty) Tai! (sister) how many kids you have?

Guvava seller aunty: 7. 5 sons and 2 daughters.

Sitting aunty: She was busy in her youth. (both palak aunty and sitting aunty laugh) How many do you have? (to palak aunty)

Palak aunty: 3. 2 girls and one boy.

Woman 3: Let me guess. Third one is boy?

Palak aunty: No.. First one is Boy.

Woman 1: LOL. Some people think they are all feminist and all that. (Shows disdainful face to Woman 3)

Woman 2: Having kids and not having kids must be a decision we can make. We must have that choice.

Guvava seller aunty: I wish I was this Dink laddo like you. I would have been happy to be all dink and no kids. (looks at Woman 3) what was it?

Woman 3: Double income with No kids.

Guvava seller aunty: Oh! I would have been single income no kids. My husband is a drunkard who blows away all his money on alcohol.

Sitting aunty: Me too tai! (Both laugh)

Woman 4: I really wish my family was this supportive (looking at Woman 2). I am called childless and treated badly. I wish I can also be DINK. I honestly don’t know if a kid will make all my worries go away.

Palak Aunty: People are vile child. You think after you have a kid, they will shut up? You be dinky. Like her (points a palak at Woman 2). Who cares? We have so many people anyway.

Woman 3: smiles discreetly

Woman 1: Hmmm. Honestly, I don’t want to have another child now. I work full time and leave my kid in day care. No help from family.

Guvava seller aunty: No one will help child. I used to bring my 3 kids to sell fruits. When they grew, they took care of the little ones.

Palak aunty: Many people must be Dink kids..

Woman 3: DINK.. Not Dink kids.

Palak aunty: what she said. Well… many must be this. Only then people will understand the work moms do. We are expected to work, have sex (Woman 1, 2 and 3 are visibly uncomfortable), have kids, cook (waves a palak), keep house, be disciplined, talk nice. Screw them. (looks at Woman 2) You be Dink laddo, child.

Woman 1: I guess I’ll just tell my mom that I cannot have kids and it is the COVID vaccine’s fault.

(All women laugh)

Woman 2: You do that!!

I had to get down in my stop after this; was very tempted to keep going, but I’d be travelling ticket less.

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