People give so many reasons for a happy marriage. I’ve heard some of my friends say, “We have a lot in common.” Some say, “We are in the same field of work. So it just works!” I have even heard people say that they are good friends. And some weird people claim to be in love (for the love of god!).
So what is it that keeps a marriage going? I used to think it was the friendship between the stake holders (Yup! Talking in corporate language. Bite me!). I have a different opinion now. Now! that I am stuck in the same house with my “friend” (who I have re-designated as my frenemy now), I think I can clearly see the glue that fixed my marriage. Want to know the answer? I bet you think you are going to be enlightened (For people who know me! I can see you roll your eyes! In my mind eyes!). The glue, the reason, the very thing or person that made my marriage work was my maid (Yup you read it right. Don’t waste time re-reading. I said, “my maid”… yes… maiiiiidddd).
She came every morning (OK! Not every morning. She is quite imaginative with her skip-work tales. Sigh.. god! I miss her), cleaned the house, and washed the vessels. I nitpicked on her work (not proud of it! Now!). After some months and years, we just took her for granted. I just had to top-up on her cleaning; keep a few things in order, cook and that’s it, happy marriage. I never thought that her presence was crucial to our marriage. But! Alas! It is.
Let me explain. I am a working mom. My husband is a working dad. My son is a school-going, preteen kid (he is a cute kid with the usual entitlement issue and unwanted anger). All of us work from home now. Before the pandemic, we all went about caring deeply about the environment, about our health, about our writing, about our singing, about our football… (you get the drift!). We had time to care “deeply” about these things. We did not do the basic cleaning (see where I am going with this?). With the maid not coming in every day, I am the new maid (I know what you’re thinking. “Make the husband work!” “Make the kid work”). The people in my house think of cleaning as an unwanted job (obviously they are pigs! Ahhhh…. Is this where the expression, men are pigs, come from?). I, on the other hand, do not think so. Hence, I am the maid.
There are so many things that come to my mind when I sweep my house. Where does all this dirt come from? We do not go out. Pigeons are flying rats; and they hate me. I sweat a lot. As a family, we have too much hair fall. It is hot in Mumbai.
After all these thoughts, when I see my “better half” sitting on the couch leisurely, laughing and talking on the phone, I get angry. Now, if my maid was there to clean the house, I would not be irritated by my happy spouse (seriously! sometimes I cannot stand him because he breathes).
So, a good marriage needs a maid. There you have it. After the lock-down, hire a maid, if you do not already have one. Trust me! Maids are marriage savers.