Spicy Rasam

Being confident is a true gift. Isn’t it? It works like a magic potion no matter what the circumstance is. Most self-development classes, courses or talks talk about self-confidence. Can a person be forever confident about themselves? Won’t they have off days? How much confidence is not too confidence?

Phew… that a lot of ‘confidence” in just one para. (I’d say too-confident… eh? Hehe… not funny? Well! Bite me!!) People consider me a confident person. Some even ask me tips on ‘how to be confident?’ I honestly do not know. Because I am always insecure. I think I turn on my “confidence mask” only when required. (Guess I keep practicing wearing the mask.)

But, I know some people who are extremely confident. I mean, they make YouTube videos, some are stand-up comedians, some are theater actors, some are receptionists and some work in customer-facing jobs. They have to be confident. They cannot afford to be otherwise. I have sometimes wondered how they achieve it. I recently got the answer when I was talking to my friend (The YouTuber). He said, it is all about the way you see yourself. If you look at yourself like you are your own baby or a treasure, you tend to be less confident.

Your first reaction is ‘What the hell??’ Right? Mine was too. Seems, people who do not take themselves seriously come off as confident (WOW! Who knew!! No wonder Trump, Modi, and Rahul Gandhi are so confident). Take note that I said, ‘come off as’ and not ‘are’. Because that is all it is.

If you treat yourself like a king, Kim Jong-un, or Daenerys Targaryen (that woman scares the shit out of me now! not more than Kim Jong-un, though), you behave like a toddler’s publicist. You keep your mouth in check, your thoughts, you think, think, and think what to say; and then it is just too late and you just stand there. You have definitely saved your dignity, unwanted stress that will come later, and some other unpleasant stuff.

These filters are good, in small amounts. If you keep filtering the hell out of your thoughts and speech, you just do not interact. I am not talking about introverts. I am talking about extroverts and not-so introverts (like myself; I am a half and half). Never hurt anyone, do not say nonsense, but trust yourself to say the right thing. If you do not trust you, who else will?