Spicy Rasam

You know the feeling when you ought not to have eaten that last paneer tikka, but you did and you terribly regret it a few seconds later. That is the state you keep spiraling into if you are a mom who does not “worry too much” about her kid. Any urban mom would tell you that raising a kid and keeping up with mom-peers is not an easy job.

There used to be a time when raising a kid was as easy as breathing. You had kids, they grew up. Period. Of course, parents worry naturally for things that make them worry naturally (You know! Why the hell is he not eating the broccoli? Why on earth would he not change the sweat-drenched clothing? Why does he not listen to me?). There are some other worries that are thrust on us by our “co-parents” that sometimes has nothing to do with you.

For example, my friend was fine till afternoon, yesterday till she talked with her office friend and heard about how her daughter goes to dance classes after school. Her friend probably wanted to reassure herself that she is not pushing her child too much so she’d asked, “What classes does your child go to?” And that was it, folks. My friend was a mess for the rest of the day. She was convinced by the end of day that she was the worst mother in all the universes. Her daughter does not go to any extra-curricular classes. The poor child just plays in the ground near her apartment building (For the love of god people! It is called “extra”…. Extra… curricular, for a reason. Its extra people… EXTRA).

The other day, I was happily filling my water bottle in the pantry. I had just submitted my deliverable and was on cloud nine (Of course, I am going to fall with a thud, right? We all know that. The universe wants that! Damn! Universe!). A friend of mine asked me how my son was doing casually. His son and mine were both footballers and he casually mentioned that his kid goes to practice every morning at 6:30 to a football academy. Now, you might think this is just small talk. But for an over-thinking, always-on-top, super-tensed, working mom, who is always guilty of something she did, this was devastating. My son does not go to any extra-practice (You see! Why I stress extra?), Why does he never listen to me? Why am not able to make him listen to him? Why is there not a football academy near my home? My mind just took over and dropped me down like a cricket ball.

We all love our kids, right? Some kids read. Some play ball. Some like music and some just study. To be honest, I have come to believe that kids are their own little people and they will do what they want to. But, for some reason, we feel the need to monitor the hell out of our kids. Now! This habit only affects moms. The dads seem to be fine. They don’t govern their kids. They can look at their kid and think, ‘that is a person’. Not moms! They look at their kid and think, ‘I made that. That is mine.’ (In know! I know! We made our kids. They are ours. Sigh!) But ladies! Wake up and see their individuality. They have their own minds and no mater how much we try, sometimes they do what they want to.

So! Chill! Relax a little. The “extra-curricular” activities and curricular activities should not be affecting your psyche. Teach them to be a good person and let google bring them up (you know I am right!) to be an information-filled, technology-using, adult. Sigh! I need to reduce my son’s screen time. Why do I let him use my smart phone? I guess I’ll keep spiraling people. You guys ponder though.